The Future's So Bright

I love to plan things. I love the anticipation of the next event. I'm always in this state of expectation. It almost feels like the high you get from meeting a new guy and planning the first date. There are so many details to fixate on until the date.

I always think my plans are a good idea. I get really excited and I start pulling others into my grand schemes. Ahi calls me his little social director. But in reality, most of the time when the day and time arrives, I just don't feel like doing anything. It's like I used up all my energy planning well in advance and then it's like I've already virtually experienced it and the reality no longer holds any appeal.

I love to make lists. So I will create all these lists: scratch paper, journals, refrigerator note pads, white boards, gmail tasks, notes and stickies on my iphone/ipad, e-mail, etc. Yes there is an etc. to my list making!  I would say that 90% of the time I only complete 1 line item from any list. As long as Michael's keeps printing cute cheap refrigerator note pads, I'll keep writing meaningless and fruitless lists.

I used to have this philosophy that if I wrote my plans down or even told others about them, that they were out there in the universe and they were bound to come true. Unfortunately the universe does allow take backs.

I was trying to counsel someone else about their negativity and how it has stood in their way professionally. Suggesting that perhaps there is a way that they could reword their ideas in a more positive manner without losing their integrity. His response was that it was just who he was and he was aware, but probably wouldn't change. It reminded me how I am often extremely self aware of my faults or short comings, but self awareness is not a cure.

I don't think that I will ever stop planning. I actually think that my overplanning is a symptom of my procrastination affliction. Living in the future not in the now. But that's a whole nother blog, which I will write...someday. ["Someday is not a day of the week." -unknown]